You are elevating futility to a high art. There is nothing you can do to prevent the catharsis of spurious morality
Eric has been coerced back to finish the last two scripts of the season. He had already started on episode 13 before he resigned. Sadly, just before the transmission of ‘Mysterious Planet’ Robert Holmes had died. Bob was a hero of mine, with the exception of Nigel Kneale, I can’t think of a TV writer whose work I admire more. I’ll write a eulogy some other time, elsewhere in happier times when Bob was at his peak. Before he became too ill, he wrote a story breakdown for the final two episodes and started work on the first – the last episode to be transmitted under his name. Eric returned and took over finishing episode 13 and 14.
The ending was to have been a cliffhanger, the Valeyard revealed to have been an incarnation of Doctor (not some intermediate state) and he and the Doctor in a final battle similar to Reichenbach, were to have fallen into a time vent, nobody sure if either will survive. Eric fought to keep this ending (one that he and Bob had worked on together, so this really was personal), when JNT – actually for understandable political reasons – wouldn’t allow this, Eric refused to allow 13 and 14 to be used. With legal advice, the BBC execs determined that the work he had done on 13 was in house and owned by the BBC, whilst he worked as a freelancer on 14 (he did something similar to allow him to write ‘Revelation of the Daleks’) and so could not be used. All the BBC copies of the script for episode 14 were rounded up and shredded. Pip and Jane were brought in to write it from scratch with no reference to the original story outline.
Sounds like a recipe for a successful conclusion to this story arc, doesn’t it? What could possibly go wrong?
Back in 1983, Channel 4 in the UK screened the whole of the 1960’s TV programme ‘The Prisoner’. I absolutely loved it. I didn’t know too much about it, there weren’t any printed episode guides and the internet was merely a twinkling in the eye of Sir Tim Berners-Lee. So, I made it to the last episode ‘Fall Out’, without any idea of what was going to happen, who was Number 1, what would happen to Number 6, how would all of this madness going to be explained? Well, ‘Fallout’ is one of most insanely brilliant pieces of television that I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t really explain anything (at least as far as I can see) – but that is fine – who expected it to? That isn’t the point of the show. ‘The Ultimate Foe’ similarly dabbles with the surreal, at the end of the thing I am not sure I entirely know what has been going on for the last 14 episodes, but the thing is I’m pretty sure that it meant to tell me?
I will be honest with you, I have absolutely no idea how to review this. I had to watch the thing twice (some parts of it three times) and read the whole transcript just to unsuccessfully try and work out what was going on – something about the Master taking over Gallifrey or a High Council cover-up conspiracy or the darker side of the Doctor or all of them and something called a megabyte modem or maser or particle disseminator or limbo atrophier? To summarise, it has to explain what Glitz and Dibber were doing in ‘Mysterious Planet’, explain the sleepers and their links to Gallifrey, explain why the Earth had moved and became Ravolox, why there was a fireball, explain who if anyone has been changing the evidence in the matrix, explain why the Doctor is on trial, why the Valeyard hates him so much, whether he is guilty or not, what his sentence is – resolve the whole thing in a satisfactory way, additionally work out what to do with Mel, who he hasn’t met yet and resolve some of the questions arising from the death of Peri. The story has a lot riding on it and well with what was going on behind the scenes and the complexity already introduced by the trial along with the way, there wasn’t much chance of that.
On the positive side of things, it manages to be quite entertaining at times, but also total rubbish at the same time. It has bags of atmosphere, mainly thanks to the rather good location filming and some nice spooky moments – children laughing, London’s Bridge is Falling Down etc. The fact that it actually got made is a positive, especially after the death and resignation of its two main architects (has any other ‘Doctor Who’ story exacted such a toll?) – a major achievement in itself. The Victorian industrial fantasy of the matrix works quite well – with striking images of the hand from the barrel, the Doctor being pulled down into the sand – the setting in the Potteries is similarly striking. Colin does also get his big defining speech, which considering what was about to happen is a good thing.
On the other hand, it isn’t a particularly successful way of wrapping up the story of the trial. Originally the Master was to have been the main villain, which is a bit dull, then the Valeyard was going to be a future incarnation of the Doctor gone bad, that he is the evil side of the Doctor is a good idea – the ‘between 12th and 13th incarnations’ bit is just a bit strange, tacked on because JNT didn’t want to waste an incarnation of the Doctor. What we end up with is possibly less problematic for the ongoing series, but that could have easily just been explained away as an alternative timeline anyway.
And the big reveal, well Anthony Ainley of all people decides to underplay this to the extent that it is barely audible! It is almost method acting from him, he really doesn’t like the fact that there is a new villain on block any more than his character does! Talking of Anthony Ainley, he is absolutely ¤¤¤¤ing glorious in this. His appearance on the matrix screen made me laugh so much I rewound it no less than 5 times. I’m chuckling now just thinking about it, it is utterly priceless in a way that the show hasn’t quite seen since Bill Hartnell in his prime or Pat and Frazer mucking about holding hands. It is sheer comedy gold and utterly joyful. He is clearly having a great time, probably the only person connected to this thing who is – he even says ‘I’m present, and enjoying myself enormously!’ After weeks of everyone saying how rubbish things are, having him turn up and gleefully try to steal the show is just brilliant. Anthony Ainley, a man who insisted on wearing a wig on top of his own toupe – after these 14 episodes I could almost kiss him, the mad old bugger.
In contrast, as the Master grows in strength, the Valeyard just falls apart. He turns into a pantomime villain, boo, hiss, comedy sinister laugh. What should have been a great concept and the big reveal are utterly wasted. It is also a waste of an excellent actor.
I hate to do this, but I’m going to anyway – compare it to an earlier story that I like much more. It isn’t fair in some respects, but because of the subject matter and author I can’t avoid it. Episode 3 of ‘Deadly Assassin’ does this much better – OK it has a plastic crocodile and a miniature train, but it is played and directed with such utter conviction that it sweeps all of these obstacles away and really delivers a superb episode set in the fantasy world in the matrix. Here no one quite manages that. Maloney’s direction is far superior and Tom and Bernard Horsfall sell those scenes far better than Colin Baker and Tony Selby manage. That is especially true as episode 13 moves into 14 and there is a moment when you think it might still all be alright – the sequences on the beach are quite effective. After that though all hope is quickly crushed and there is huge drop off in quality between the two episodes. OK, I was looking for it this time around. The production is obviously consistent – same cast, crew, director, but the dialogue is mostly awful and there is lot of random moving about and the explanations and technobabble are so far below what Robert Holmes or even Eric Saward are capable of. We are now deep into Pip and Jane country.
The whole story then proceeds to completely fall apart. Fair enough it is set in a surreal, fantasy world, but I have no idea what happened at the end – the Doctor fiddled with some wires, some stuff came out of the screen, the people in the Trial room survived this by cunningly ducking down as it happened and ermm a machine did something and … Well what happens next is that they all have a laugh together in the trial room like the ending of an episode of ‘Police Squad’ and we have Colin’s last words as the Doctor (‘carrot juice, carrot juice, carrot juice’) – saying things 3 times is his thing you see. I watched it again just in case I was missing something and I tried again and then read the transcript, I wasn’t missing anything – it is just an utter mess. I know about the really difficult circumstances, the timescales imposed on Pip and Jane – but this is week 14 out of 14 and we need somehow to resolve this whole thing – this whole edifice created in a vacuum of ideas in the aftermath of scrapping half a season, this folly, an albatross around the neck of the production team, writers and actors. It is all too much for anyone, only Pip and Jane kept their cool, stayed professional, stuck it out until the end. They are indomitable, but I’m sorry but the ending of all of this is utter, utter horse¤¤¤¤.
And so the end is near…
Ultimately, the best things about the ‘Trial of a Time Lord’ are the DVD extras. They are genuinely brilliant. Oh and whenever Doctor Who fans need something to discuss and stir up comments, it is always there for us, we only have to reach for it. For those of you who love it or for whom it was their first stepping stone in loving the show, apologies, I’m sure there are things that I like which you really don’t. It isn’t for me, but it’s all part of life’s rich tapestry, it is an utterly misconceived folly, but a character-building experience. I wouldn’t change it, but I just wish I could pop back in time and tell my younger self, don’t worry mate, one day John Hurt will be playing the Doctor and it will all be brilliant.
A Journal of Impossible Things 